The Road to Burnout – and the Path Back

Written By Jaimee Smith

What is burnout?

Burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion that develops when the demands placed on us consistently exceed our capacity to cope and recover. This state usually develops from a long period of stress (a state the body enters after repeated exposure to stressful events/stressors), with little opportunity to rest and support recovery. A lot of people experiencing burnout also become more detached, even cynical, and less able to perform in areas of their lives that felt manageable before.

Some common misconceptions:

Burnout IS NOT:

• Laziness

• Personal failure

• Lack of resilience

• Only affecting people who work too much.

• A state where rest alone is enough.

• Going to be fixed by just taking a holiday.

Who is more vulnerable burnout?

Anyone can experience burnout but there are some people who seem to be more susceptible. Such people might include, very busy people, those with high standards or even unrealistic expectations of themselves, those with perfectionistic tendencies or who are anxious, people who tend to prioritise others’ needs over their own and those who have many roles in their lives.

1. How chronic stress can gradually lead to burnout:

• Demands continue and exceed any opportunity to recover

• Sleep is poor or you wake feeling unrefreshed

• Not eating as regularly or as well as you usually do

• Overthinking or difficulty ‘switching off’

• Pushing through fatigue

• Working harder but less effectively

• Basic needs may get neglected e.g. food, movement, rest

• Boundaries start to slip

• Activities that usually help you recover gradually disappear

• Life becomes more about coping rather than living

*Chronic stress narrows your world.

2. Early signs your mind and body may be struggling:

Your mind and body whisper before shouting – here are examples of whispers:

• Irritable – more than usual

• Not as patient

• Emotionally reactive – more so than usual

• Feeling numb or flat

• Drifting further from your sense of meaning and values

• Feeling as though your life is being driven by demands rather than by choice

• Concentration becomes difficult

• More forgetful

• Easily overwhelmed and can’t ‘catch up’

• Difficulty making decisions

• More self-criticism

• Brain fog

• Dreading responsibilities

• Avoidance of emails, texts etc.

• Socially withdraw

• Increase in procrastination

• Less motivated

• Coping mechanisms start to slip

• Tired even with enough sleep

• Headaches & muscle tension

• Finding yourself getting sick more often

• Experiencing many of the above and thinking ‘I need a holiday!’

*Early warning signs show your nervous system that it is struggling to adapt.

What can help here:

• Examine expectations

• Re-establish boundaries

• Ask for help

• Gentle routines

• Protect joy and connection

• Nervous system regulation

• Small moments of recovery throughout the day – because many of us don’t have

whole afternoons, demand free weekends etc.

Examples of small moments of recovery:

Physical recovery:

  • Drinking a glass of water without multitasking

  • Taking a slow walk around the office/home/block

  • Noticing 5 slow breaths in through the noseMental recovery:

  • Pausing what you’re doing to listen to a favourite song

  • Jotting down racing thoughts to clear some mental space

  • Doing one thing at a time – instead of multitasking

Emotional recovery:

  • Looking at a photo that gives you a smile

  • Sending a text to a friend/loved one

  • Find something that gives you a laugh

Sensory recovery:

  • Finding somewhere quiet to sit

  • Holding a hot beverage and notice its warmth

  • Picking a colour and notice 3-5 examples around you

Reconnecting with yourself:

  • Watering your plants

  • Cuddling a pet

  • Spending 5 minutes on a hobby

Social recovery:

  • Asking for help instead of pushing through something alone

  • Having a conversation that isn’t about responsibilities or work

  • Catching up with someone in person or on the phone

Small moments of recovery aren’t about eliminating stress but rather giving yourself opportunities to regularly shift out of ‘doing’ mode and into ‘recovery’ mode before stress compounds in the mind and body with nowhere to go.

3. What burnout can feel like – A lived experience:

If you think you’re already burnout it may feel like:

  • Being emotionally exhausted

  • Being detached and/or cynical

  • Being trapped

  • Nothing is enjoyable

  • Rest is not restorative

  • Everything feels overwhelming

  • Being disconnected – even from yourself

  • Questioning your competence

  • Guilt for not coping

  • A loss of your sense of self

  • Survival rather than living or even thriving

*Burnout can change how you experience your sense of self, your connections with people, and those things in life that once gave you meaning.

4. What recovery often looks like:

You can’t recover from burnout if your body still believes the marathon will continue:

  • Reducing demands where you can, even if this is just temporarily

  • Allowing yourself to rest without feeling like you must earn it

  • Taking time to feel safe, calm and unhurried so your body isn’t preparing for the next demand

  • Having periods throughout the day that you’re not rushing, fixing problems and/or caring for others

  • Bringing in activities that leave you feeling lighter, calmer or more like yourself

  • Slowly rebuilding your energy and capacity rather than attempting to ‘bounce back’

  • Reconnecting with your values and what’s important to you

  • Practicing self-compassion

  • Acceptance – that recovery takes time and it is not something that can be rushed or ticked off a to-do list

  • This can be very difficult to do alone so engaging in psychological support can be of great value

  • A reframe that may be helpful is that rest is not something to be earned, but a fundamental need as human beings.

5. Preventing burnout from returning:

  • Recognise what your early warning signs are

  • Protect your small moments of recovery

  • Review your boundaries on a regular basis

  • Make changes as soon as you can – this is easier the earlier you notice that changes need to be made

  • Ensure you have lots of support and see where you can increase it for times of increased stress

  • Check in with your values, frequently

  • Accept that there will be stressful times but chronic stress without recovery is what can lead to burnout

A final thought:

Burnout isn’t a sign that you’ve failed. It’s usually a sign that you’ve been coping for far too long without enough support or opportunities to recover. With the right changes, recovery is possible – even if it may not feel that way right now. If you recognise yourself in this article, you don’t have to navigate burnout alone. Burnout can make it difficult to see a way forward, but with the right support, recovery is possible. If you’d like support in understanding what’s contributing to your burnout and finding a path back to yourself, I’d be happy to help.

Jaimee Smith